8-year-old student with anger issues destroys his 3rd grade classroom, teacher takes rest of the class into the hallway and lets him reek havoc without consequences: 'Are schools not allowed to punish bad students anymore?'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 23, 2024 6:00 PM EST

The rulebook for disciplining kids in the classroom has been thrown out the window. Nobody wants to return to the days of Paddlin' Peggy Hill for good reasons, but there has to be a compromise between spanking students for misbehavior and just letting it happen without consequence. Even the concept of an afterschool or lunchtime detention seems foreign to many of today's students. I certainly don't remember kids regularly going to detention when I was in K-12 public schooling, and it's gotten more lax in the years since. I've heard teachers online saying that their school administration punishes them for sending disruptive students to the principal's office. It's a lose-lose-lose situation for teachers, students, and society at large.

One parent whose child attends a rural school district is fed up with one disruptive student ruining her son's education. Instead of disciplining or removing him, his tantrums control what everyone else is doing.

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    Cheezburger Image 10432013056
    via yang miao

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Question from a Xennial first-time parent: are schools not allowed to punish "bad" students anymore? Or am I old?
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 03
    Apologies if this breaks the rules, but I don't know if I'm being an entitled Karen, or if my concerns are legitimate. I typed up a whole draft and it disappeared, so here's the TL;DR version: My 3rd grader attends a VERY small rural school. Everyone knows everyone.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 04
    Since kindergarten there's been one student with anger issues and behaviors that have escalated from destroying the classroom (flipping desks, ripping artwork off walls, tipping over bookshelves, smashing their chromebooks during reading time), to punching and kicking classmates for no apparent reason. The school's response has been to let the student's outburst run its course, while the rest of the class sits in the hallway for it to finish.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 05
    The state tests scores for those kids have been abysmal because the student would unplug the computers from the walls and tip the kids out of their seats during testing. Yesterday my kid said "Mama, I know a secret the other kids don't so that [student] will only hurt you one time, and that's to stare off into space while he's kicking you, because he has more fun if you try and protect yourself."
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 06
    I wanted to cry. My kid is describing the "gray rock" method people in domestic violence situations use to stay alive. Today my kid came home from school with a nose because the student was sad about not winning a group game, and my kid said to him "Don't worry, you'll get another chance." That's all it took to set the student off. Nothing happened to the student and they were allowed to continue recess.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 07
    The school has not notified me, but I want to know if this is normal? Are my memories of elementary school distorted? I don't ever remember having troubled kids not get punished. They were given detention. Heck, I was given detention one time because I was making a mudpie when the bell rang signifying recess was over and I didn't stop immediately to run and get in line.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 08
    Has school policy changed or am I turning into a boomer Karen? Do I have any recourse? Idk if this is important but the student's mother is on the school board as a trustee, and the school is so small, it's the only one in the district. The principal is the superintendent, and then there are two secretaries.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 09
    ETA: my kid's class size has dropped from 22 to 14 since kindergarten, and the turnover rate for staff is scary. The parents decided to transfer the kids out of the school due to their frustrations with the way it's handling troubled students. My kid has had a brand-new, first-time teacher every year, because most staff leave after 3 years. Is this a contract thing?
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 10
    *** THANK YOU ALL for your responses. Some clarifications: *** I know the family of the student. They are not bad people. I can't fathom suing the family. We're a small rural community and that's not the way things are done here. My beef is with the principal/superintendent and not an 8-year-old child. The student's mom is on the school board with four other parents of kids in the school. Again, we're a small rural school.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 11
    In kindergarten through 2nd grade I tried to set up playdates to hopefully build a bond between my kid and the student because I thought the kid was misunderstood and would hopefully do better if he had a friend. My kid still thinks they are friends but that he has trouble controlling his temper and forgives him for what he does. His mom has the student in occupational therapy, talk therapy, set up an IEP, and has done sleep studies to get to the root of the problem. She now believes it's caused
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 12
    I became the PTA president during 2nd grade. Not by choice! I was the only one to show up to the last meeting during the 1st grade school year and felt bad saying no. From there I saw firsthand how unhappy staff were (are), and how little parental involvement there is. I also attended school board meetings (the only parent to do so) and saw how the board berated the staff. It was appalling.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 13
    This student only attended school part time during 2nd grade because four classmates were withdrawn by parents due to complaints falling on deaf ears. These classmates had older siblings at the school who were also withdrawn. The principal/superintendent asked the mom to homeschool part time as a compromise. Coincidently, all the remaining students test scores improved dramatically last year.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 14
    Major-Sink-1622 Yeah girl, that's what we've all been complaining about. There's zero real consequences. The kids are unable to control their emotions, their parents keep giving them the ipad, and the school has their hands tied because some parents complain too loudly.
    via u/Major-Sink-1622
  • 15
    SkitSkat-ScoodleDoot The school does not have their hands tied. I think many districts would be praised for coming up with a plan that doesn't sh on kids with ED in total but gets their well-behaved peers away from them. Admin and BOE are just weak, ineffectual, and allow themselves to do nothing so they aren't dragged online by the deplorables.
    via u/SkitSkat-ScoodleDoot
  • 16
    It's almost as if....gasp... inclusion classrooms are a one-way street for kids w ED. I know my daughter will never be "the model" in an inclusion classroom. Sorry you didn't parent your toddler but the good kids shouldn't have to put up with them. As adults we don't. We would never put up with emotional outbursts and violence at the supermarket or at work.
    via u/SkitSkat-ScoodleDoot
  • 17
    I have had 8 co teach classrooms and nearly all of the IEPs are bulls. Everyone has an "undiagnosed learning disorder" or "emotional or "adhd" which just means they don't behave in a conventional school setting. I've never had a kid with a wheelchair or low vision/hearing who had a and was on grade level and physical pleasant. To OP, it sounds like you live in a very rural place with a terrible school. None of what's happening to you is normal or should be allowed. That child belongs in a self-c
    via u/SkitSkat-ScoodleDoot
  • 18
    black_truffle_cheese You are not a Karen. Admin not alerting you to a major injury is Talk to the other parents, document everything, and threaten the school with legal action. This is NOT ok.
    via u/black_truffle_cheese
  • 19
    Royal-Sir6985 Agree 100%. The only thing that gets admin/school boards' attention these days is parents raising concerns. They don't listen to teacher input in cases like these. Your child has the same right to an education as the child you describe. You also have something valuable - test scores showing your child's progress (and if I understood right, the whole class) have been affected by the school's ineffectiveness in handling this situation. The fact that it's been ongoing for multiple sch
    via u/Royal-Sir6985
  • 20
    also more evidence. I'd go to the principal, district admin, and the school board if necessary (and recruit the other parents) to make them aware of this, and to ask them to do something about it. At bare minimum, if this child has an IEP, they need to include/modify some behavior goals.
    via u/Royal-Sir6985
  • 21
    Ic3ls3y The school is liable for this if it caused physical harm to your child. Contact a lawyer... this has gotten out of hand. If a student threatens or physically harms others they have to be removed for safety reasons. The school is just trying to make it through the day. One day that child will grow larger and cause real damage if someone doesn't step in.
    via u/Ic3ls3y
  • 22
    Righttonotbeviolated Things have definitely changed. No accountability is the new lesson and they are learning that quite well.
    via u/Righttonotbeviolated
  • 23
    havingsomefun03 It was shared with me that my school tried to expel four students last year and all four were denied. One of them was for a student throwing a Chromebook at a teacher's head. He wasn't injured enough for it to matter, apparently.
    via u/havingsomefun03
  • 24
    lostcheeses In my experience the school's hands are tied under the guise of "inclusion" (inclusion without correct training or support). The only thing that works is enough parents complain sighting both trauma their child is experiencing and also the lack of learning. When this happens things get moving and suddenly there will be a budget for teacher assistants, behaviour therapists, social workers, and the school will start looking at shorter days for the disregulated learner. Nothing happens
    via u/lostcheeses
  • 25
    therealscooke Welcome to current reality. Sad. You'd think in a small town like what you describe there'd be some group of kids who'd dish out some remedial action. But, not anymore. Everyone suffers at the hands of these delinquent, unbalanced kids, enabled by insecure and pathetic parents. Do what others have said - go momma bear, legality-wise, on this family. But... even that may not be enough if cr p parents are connected. Hang in there.
    via u/therealscooke
  • 26
    Mission_Spray OP My kid just told me there's another boy in class who will stand up between the student and his target, and take the hits on their behalf. I think I hate this school.
    via u/Mission_Spray
  • 27
    4694326 I worked in a school a 7 years ago where there were two kids that destroyed my classroom on a weekly basis. I had to pull my 2nd graders into the hall while these two were ripping apart the room. It was terrible seeing the reactions of the other students as they had to walk back into a room with overturned desks, ripped student work hanging off the walls and the classroom library in absolute shambles. No suspensions, not even a clean up, just meaningless apologies. I didn't go back after
    via u/4694326
  • 28
    the_owl_syndicate Just today, I had a kindergartener hit two girls for no reason. I was talking to one of the moms about it, and she said, "What will happen to the boy? Will he be suspended?" Freely admit, I'm a bad teacher. It was the end of the day, I was ped at this kid (mine is the third class he's been in because of his behavior), and I'm livid on behalf of my students. I laughed.
    via u/the_owl_syndicate
  • 29
    I apologized, then explained that the district will not suspend kinder and, in fact, won't give them ISS either. So this kid, with a long documented history of hitting, yelling, and taking his clothes off, will be back in class tomorrow as if nothing happened. And there's nothing I can do.
    via u/the_owl_syndicate
  • 30
    Mission_Spray OP At what point would the safety of others be considered over the feelings of one?
    via u/Mission_Spray

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